by Zuko Mgwili
“By and by, I noticed Wemmick’s arm beginning to disappear again, and gradually fading out of view. Shortly afterwards, his mouth began to widen again. After an interval of suspense on my part that was quite enthralling and almost painful, I saw his hand appear on the other side of Miss Skiffins. Instantly, Miss Skiffins stopped it with the neatness of a placid boxer, took off that girdle or cestus as before, and laid it on the table. Taking the table to represent the path of virtue, I am justified in stating that during the whole time of the Aged’s reading, Wemmick’s arm was straying from the path of virtue and being recalled to it by Miss Skiffins.” – Great Expectations.
Fatherhood, can there be any greater honor/privilege (apart from being married to the love of your life), that God, in his infinite wisdom, grants a man, than that of being a father. Oh, how I relish the prospect, and if God would be so kind as to give me a daughter, here are some thoughts I would share with her about sex.
1. Sex is good.
All God’s gifts are good, and sex is from God; it’s His idea. He gave it to his human creatures not only for procreation, but also for our pleasure. A husband and his wife are to delight and be intoxicated with each other in sex.
2. Desire is good.
Your desire for sexual intimacy is good; do not feel shame about it. It is telling you that your body is ready for sexual love. Do understand that the proper context for sexual expression is marriage.
3. Sex is not God.
You will have some people think of you as strange for saving sex for marriage, for subscribing to some “repressive, antiquated” notions about sex. Some will even ask, “How are you able to survive without it?” or “Everyone is doing it, what’s wrong with you?”. The culture all around worships at the altar of sex; it’s everywhere, with all its gross distortions. Sex is to be enjoyed as the gift that it is, within the confines of God’s law, but it is not God. You can live without it.
4. Hollywood sex is not real sex.
Don’t take your cues and ideas about sex from Hollywood; the well choreographed sequences, where lovers seem to effortless lose themselves in sexual ecstasy, do not necessarily reflect real life. Your first sexual encounter will most likely be a clumsy, awkward affair. Do not loose heart, as you and your husband grow to know each other sexually, you will over time indeed experience perfect rapture.
5. Sex is enjoyable.
Premarital, extramarital or marital, sex is enjoyable, but the best sex to be had is marital. A good marriage relationship established on Christ, where trust, faithfulness and love are not lacking, is an excellent foundation for passionate love making to happen.
6. Sexual power.
Be aware of the kind of sexual power as a young woman you have over men. Do your best to possess your body in an honorable manner, so that your are not a cause for stumbling for your brothers in Christ.
7. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
You are God’s. You are called by His Name. His love for you is far greater than you can imagine or comprehend. You have the Creator of the Universe dwelling in you by His Spirit; what an awesome idea. You are not your own, therefore observe God’s law about sexual behavior; his laws are for your good.
8. Sexual conduct as a witness.
You bring glory to God when you handle your sexuality honorably. Great harm has been caused to the witness of the Gospel, as a result of scandals of sexual immorality in the Church. For the sake of Kingdom of God, do conduct yourself in a manner worthy of one called by the name of Christ.
Do you have any other blush-inducing pearls of wisdom you would share with your daughter about sex? Please do mention them in the comments section below or if you want chastise me for having mentioned the word “sex” and “ecstasy”, please do also comment. 🙂