“My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and they’re like, it’s better than yours.” Kelis
Last week Thursday we had a list of 8 things that make a man hot. And as a result, I started thinking about beauty, attraction and the role those play in a relationship.
What makes a woman hot? I asked some people if they were willing to explore and no one took the bait – I am not surprised! It is a difficult topic to address and my experience is that women tend to be more sensitive to generalisations (such as the one I just made). All the “SoS” verses are taken from the book Song of Songs. Here we go, 8 things that make a woman hot :
1. She knows she is beautiful.
“I am dark like the tents of Kedar, yet lovely as the curtains of Solomon.” SoS 1:5
Scholars say that at the time that this book was written, society’s idea of beauty was pale skin. This woman did not conform to this standard and yet she declared herself beautiful. Insecure women are constantly seeking affirmation and approval from someone else but it is never enough. That is not hot. Hotness is embodied in a woman who values what she has and makes it work. Security is never outward but comes from being at peace with who God made you to be, whether that conforms to other people’s ideas or not.
2. She has a sweet voice.
“Let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet.” SoS 2:14
Some women have beautiful voices though! Like silk, or melted chocolate, dark and warm. But you can have a nice voice and talk about nonsense. What makes a woman hot is firstly, that she lets her voice be heard, she is not voiceless even when she is quiet. She is not ignorant and does not dumb herself down. She has a message: “She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:26)
3. She is mysterious.
“Behind your veil, your eyes are doves… Behind your veil, your brow is like a slice of pomegranates.” SoS 4:1,3
You know those people you meet and can immediately figure out? Boring. People who reveal a little bit of themselves and leave you wanting more – that is hot! A veil represents a layer of covering, it reveals a little bit but not everything. A beautiful woman keeps herself veiled, not because she is shy and retiring but because she knows that she is a hidden treasure that must be sought out. There is a Bible verse that says “It is the glory of God to hide a matter, it is the glory of kings to seek it out.” A frog will try and make her give it all up with minimal effort but a king will patiently and diligently work until he finds the treasure.
4. She is inaccessible.
“My sister, my bride, you are a locked garden — a locked garden and a sealed spring.” SoS 4:12
One of the things that I found interesting was how my guy friends were always pursuing women who seemed hard to get or women who were completely out of their league. They said that they liked the challenge. A woman who does not let just anyone in her heart or does not give her body up indiscriminately before you are together is attractive. This is because you can trust her not to do so after you are in a committed relationship.
5. She is clean.
“You are a garden spring, a well of flowing water streaming from Lebanon.” SoS 4:15
When I was younger my mother was always, always trying to get me to bath twice a day. But there were always better things to do. Her usual tactic sounded something like A real woman baths! What kind of woman are you going to be? I neither deny nor admit that that pep talk is still necessary. There is a deeper kind of cleanliness that is attractive- a pure heart and mind. Sexual purity. That kind of purity is not something that you can work for, it comes from God. And specifically comes from coming to God with your dirt and letting him wash you with his love.
6. She is powerful.
“You are… awe- inspiring as an army with banners.” SoS 6:4
Some women just have the ability to command attention. They walk with authority and exude strength. Remember Xena warrior princess? Haha! There is a strength that goes beyond the physical. A truly powerful woman is not intimidated by people or circumstances but has the strength to persevere through difficulty and to carry other people, “she draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong.” (Proverbs 31:17)
7. She is not Barbie.
“There are 60 queens and 80 concubines and young women without number. But my dove, my virtuous one, is unique.” SoS 6:8,9
Barbies are mass produced and all look exactly the same. If you took several of them and laid them side by side you would not be able to tell the difference. Have you heard about the actress Lupita Nyongo-o? Since her appearance on the Golden Globes red carpet, everyone’s been raving about how gorgeous she is. But she looked nothing like anyone else on that red carpet. Her skin is not pale, her hair is not long and flowy, her face is not covered in cakes of make up. Her uniqueness is what makes her incomparable and that is hot!
8. She has pretty feet.
“How beautiful are your sandaled feet, princess!” SoS 7:1
My sister has the prettiest feet and it’s something that people always comment on. The way your feet look is important and the only thing worse than nasty looking feet is smelly feet! But what is the deeper revelation? One of my favourite Scriptures says, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the herald, who proclaims peace, who brings news of good things, who proclaims salvation.” (Isaiah 52:7). A truly beautiful woman is one who owns the journey she is walking and makes every step about bringing peace, good and salvation to every place where her feet tread – like Jesus did.
As you pursue hotness, never lose sight of what truly makes you hot and what is of eternal significance. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did!
Thanks for reading.